Lesson 5: 10 ways to have a better conversation

Damn my big mouth! That’s how I feel after every interview or any other social event. I always have this perception that I talked too much and people may perceive me in a negative manner.

So I listened to this Ted Tv titled as stated in the heading in my attempt to improve my communication skills.

So here are the tips to listen and talk to people:

  1. Don’t multi task:
    • Be present and be in the moment
  2. Don’t pontificate: 
    • Enter a conversation assuming you have something to learn
    • Set aside your personal opinions, and you will slowly open up your mind to your listeners
  3. Use open ended questions (Who, What, Why, Where, How)
  4. Go with the flow
    • Thoughts come to your mind and let it go out your mind
  5. If you don’t know, say that you don’t know
    • Be accountable for what you know, expert on, and what you don’t know
  6. Don’t equate your experience with others:
    • Eg: someone talks about loss of a family member, you don’t talk about your bad day at work (It’s not the same)
    • It’s not about you, its about the other party
  7. Don’t repeat yourself, don’t rephrase your points
  8.  Stay out of the weeds
    • People don’t care about the details in your head that you forget to tell them
    • They care about you, what you have in common
  9. ***Listen
    • The most important skill to master
  10. Be brief
    • Be interested to listen
    • Keep your mind open and be prepared to be amazed

So I am going to try these techniques and try to talk to people. I might try a couple of these for my next interviews as well. Hopefully, I won’t set myself up for failure. Fingers crossed!

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